My Heart Hurts

I don't remember how much I've told you about Blessing; she's one of two very special friends here. Blessing is quite possibly one of the most genuinely joyful people I've ever met. She's never down, every time I see her she's smiling and laughing. She has a great laugh, really contagious. From day one she was so welcoming, always greets you with a hug. Her name really suits her.
Blessing's mom left her when she was little (not sure what age exactly) to live with her step-mom and her grandmother. She said they brought her up in anger, hatred and fear. I'm reading between the lines here, but I think that means they treated her really poorly, possibly abusive? She didn't know of love (those are her words). She was forced to marry at 15 to a man she didn't know. After that she had children, two boys, and a year before her husband died she found out he was positive. After he died her husbands family kept her boys and kicked her out of the house. With no money and no home, she came to Faith Alive, lived in transitional teen housing, learned to sew, and started ARV treatment. She said she just wanted to have peace with her husbands family, she didn't want to fight with them. She prayed that God would help her take back her children without causing conflict. Today Blessing looked different; she looked quite somber and "down". With tears in her eyes she began to retell the story above, really emphasizing that she never knew love in her childhood or in her marriage. She said the first love she ever knew was from God. She kept saying, I know He loves me, I know He'll always be there. She continued; "I don't like to think about these things, I don't want to think about past. It hurts me. I just want my boys to have better life. I want them to go to school, do what I couldn't" On her current salary she's not able to afford for her boys to go to secondary school, at least that's how I understood it. She said she makes about 1.000 Naira a week, sometime less, sometimes more. That's about $10. What she would like to do is go to school herself so that she can get a higher paying job to provide for her kids. Right now she has her own sewing shop where she teaches other HIV positive women to sew. She has to pay her shop rent, house rent, 35,000 Naira and 30,000 Naira respectively (they pay lump sums for the year) food, school fees and books for her boys. She hasn't put credit in her her phone for two weeks because she hasn't had the money.
Here's the real kicker-when I went home I calculated how her rent fees translate into dollars: shop rent-$290/year, house rent-$250/year. And for her to go to school? About $500 for three years. I added up just what it would cost for her to go to school and pay her rent for three years time-$1,250. That's $416 a year. That's $34 a month. That's a little more than a dollar a day. Granted there would be more expense involved, there's more to life than just rent and school fees. Nonetheless, perspective. As I said before, my heart hurts.